It wasn’t my plan to have lots of kids….. but it wasn’t my plan to not have lots of kids. I think that tells you that I didn’t have a plan!
Let me start from the how I feel now, before I go back to the beginning.
I met a lady, recently, named Sarah who is in her late 70’s/early 80’s and she spoke to a group of us about what its like to live with a husband who has Alzheimer’s disease. She cared for him daily (with some nursing help) because she loved him with all of her heart and cherished all of the memories of their years together. He liked her very much and every morning when he woke up, he was glad to see her because he thought that she was a very nice friend, even though he could never seem to remember her name! I know, I’m getting tears in my eyes already just thinking about them.
She knew and remembered how much he liked baseball. So one day she said to him that she had tickets to a major league baseball game and would like to take him. Well he was very pleased. So off they went. He enjoyed every bit of the game, start to finish, and she enjoyed every moment watching him enjoy the game. She bought him snacks and treats, pennants and hats and they had so much fun together that day. When the day was over and they were back home, she started to talk about their day and all the fun they’d had. She looked at him and asked him about the day, and he looked blankly back at her and said, ‘I’m sorry, what was your name again?’
With a little tear in her eye, she told us about the moment of disappointment when she realized that the memory of the day at the game was gone for him. Many people have asked her why she would put so much effort into something he’d never remember. I’ll never forget her answer. She said that it was a privilege and an honor to be the one chosen to care for this man. They’d had a lifetime together that she cherished and it was a gift to be able to serve him til the end of their lives together.
I am starting, now (better late than never) to realize that it is my privilege and honor to be given the gift of children. To care for them, to love them, to nurture them and to train them up to become successful men and women in their chosen areas in life.
I wish with all my heart, that I’d started with this thought at the front of my mind rather than figuring it out so many years down the road………Well I’m not even halfway done my job as a mother, so all is not lost. I can learn and grow and share what I’ve learned with others.
But now, I can’t wait to tell you about my children. Tell me if you have any of the same feelings and memories.