Life Lessons

      Thinking back to  having just one baby seems quite easy now.  At the time… Wow, it was such a life changing experience; I was overwhelmed at times.  My mom in law was being so sweet to me one day and suggested I take my time and relax and rest just as long as I wanted.  She said I should go and lie down on her bed and take a nap with the baby.  I remember thinking…Its the baby I need a rest from!  With a few more babies along the way,… now, I think what a dream to leave all the other kids for a while in a Grandma’s capable care and go and lie down with just one sweet little cuddly baby.

Two Babies

        I’m usually a fairly quiet person and I don’t feel the need to use a lot of words to explain things.  Sometimes that’s a horrible flaw.  The kids misunderstand what I’m expecting of them, and I can’t figure out why they don’t know what I mean.  On the other hand,  when I find myself talking too much, giving too many instructions, they tune me out and miss it all.

  When we were about to have our second baby, I decided that I needed to set some boundaries, some parameters for how I was going to deal with little Davey especially if he was getting a little bit naughty, and I was busy dealing with a new baby.

     So this is my policy.  ‘I say what I mean and I mean what I say’.  Doesn’t that sound logical?  Anyone would believe that that makes sense and that’s what most people would naturally do.  But No, I say!  That’s not what we often do.  I can find myself talking away to the kids and not even realize I’m saying things that I don’t actually expect them to do.  For example, I might say, Go play in your room, keep quiet for a while, share with your sister, finish you super…any number of ‘Mom sayings’, but I’ll say them absently, as though its my job to say something responsible to them and now I’ve done my job.

Fun Babies

        I decided that if I was sitting all comfy, rocking and feeding the baby, and Davey was within view doing something he shouldn’t, I would not say a word until I was ready to get up and deal with him. For example, if he was pulling all of the kleenex out of the box, I would not tell him to stop until I could put some power behind my words and make him comply.  As a Mom, you have to have ‘the power’.  I believed that it was vitally important for them to do what I say, for their good.  So if I told baby Davey to do something, it better not be just words, that he has the option to ignore.  You know how 2 year olds can be when you say stop doing something.  So I found that if you’re going to say it, you better have power behind your words or all of your words become meaningless.

Our Little Family

     This has turned into the most valuable life lesson.  What I’ve learned is that if I stay consistent and say what I mean and mean what I say, the kids listen and respond and we have a fairly happy, calm and pleasant family life.

Advertisements

About Sue Thomson

I am the wife to an amazing Man, a home school Mom of 9 children. I am a business woman who believes in 'never give up'. I appreciate accomplishment. I love beauty, and most of all I am grateful to God for my Life. Words are tools, created to love and edify. When your conversation is full of encouragement, it's like giving someone a gift and compliments are like the 'Ribbon on Top' of that gift. I will share some of my life with you and hope to add value to your life.
This entry was posted in Lots of Kids, Main Menu and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Life Lessons

  1. Heather says:

    I wish I’d learned THIS one earlier! If they know you won’t act (yet), they learn that they don’t need to either…you don’t REALLY mean it.

    Thanks for the idea of waiting to say something till you are ready to act. I’m fairly certain that always acting right away would soon produce a child who would act on your direction whether you looked like you were getting up or not….Light and easy days with no voice raising necessary.

  2. Davey says:

    You accomplished your goal here. Whenever you spoke, all growing up, I knew that you meant business. And I guess the proof is in the pudding because to this day I never pull all of the kleenex out of the box

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s